My New Squeeze: 3dfx-tion

I've always had a soft spot for you, 3dfx.  You've been gone awhile, it's true, but even so.  There's still some not-so-subtle affection between us.  You might even say we have a "thing" for each other.  If there's such a thing as a tech-crush, I've got one.  On you.

Back when I first caught wind of your name, I fell for you.  Hard.  But who couldn't swoon?  It seemed the whole world was in love with you all at once.  And, rightfully so.

3dfx, you not only legitimized, but revolutionized real-time 3D desktop graphics.  And you did it all while the PC was still a fussy, smelly, babbling infant.  You accomplished what had been deemed by many to be impossible.  Things people said could only be done on massive, overpriced, over-sized workstations, you brought to the comparatively puny PC.  You were a real stunner 3dfx.

An old 3dfx commercial.  Gotta love a company with a sense of humor.

However, despite your amazing technology, you had some less than stellar business moves that ultimately sunk you.  By 2000 you had gone bankrupt and were ultimately acquired by your nearest competitor, Nvidia.

You were young.  Far too young.  Some of your best ideas were still ahead of you, nipped in the technological bud.  Man, I hate business.

But like a lot of things, death only made you stronger, propelling you to the status of mythos and legend.  Having a product line named Voodoo didn't hurt the notion that there was something truly magical about you.

It all happened so fast.  Right when I had just started getting to know you, you were gone.  I was also a little young for you.  When you were in your prime, I was but a wee lad.  If only we could have slowed down and savored the moment.

But, all is not lost!

Thanks to the wonders of Ebay, I have found you:  The last ever product you released, the legendary 3dfx Voodoo 5 5500 AGP.  You were just sitting there, staring at me fetchingly.  The moment I saw you, it was love at first sight all over again.  I had lost you once.  I wasn't about to lose you again.

So, I caved.  It was a little bit of an impulse buy, I confess, but I had always wanted to be able to get to know you better, to experience you more fully.  So, I bought you.

Naturally, I wanted you to feel at home and I'd never want you to be lonely.  So, I tried to find some components you would get along with, maybe some old friends even.  After all, you've been through some tough times, and you deserve to be able to rest and relax.  So, along with you, I purchased a few components for a retro PC gaming rig.  Then, it happened.

Today, that fateful moment arrived.  Or, should I say, you arrived!

The box you were in was a little worse for wear, but I welcomed you with open arms as if you were brand new.  We hugged.  We embraced.  I couldn't believe it!  You were finally resting in my arms at last.  Safe.  Sound.  Secure.

I proceeded to undress you.  You know, to make sure you were still in good condition.  I have to say.  You've aged amazingly well.

I know it doesn't make sense.  Sure, there are younger, sexier, better looking cards that have come along, cards that could easily outperform you in this day and age.  But no one will ever have as much style, grace, and personality as you.

It's been a long time, but soon you'll be resting in a vintage PC gaming rig, pumping out pixels as if it were yesterday.  3dfx Voodoo 5 5500 AGP, welcome home.  Welcome home.